I am going to start by stressing the “Shouldn’t” part because no one is saying that you can’t. It is not illegal, you won’t be jailed, The PC police are not a real thing. So yeah, you can say it all day if you want.
However, this is why you shouldn’t.
Racists use the word all the time and they don’t care if you don’t like it They proudly say it as much as possible and there is nothing you can do to stop it. You just have to avoid them.
However, racists can be hard to identify unless they are wearing a white hood or have some sort of racial tattoos. Therefore, when we hear that word being said it’s more or less an early warning system. “Beware; you are in the company of a racist!”
If you don’t want to be unfairly branded a racist then don’t use their words. You wouldn’t wear a Klan hood or robe or a swastika t shirt, so don’t use hate speech. It’s really simple when you think about it.
Now you might be ready to ask, “Why can black people say it?”
Well as I said before anyone can say, it’s just that they shouldn’t.
Black folks also shouldn’t say the word no matter what variation is used. However, when the person saying it is black people don’t think of the person as racist. It’s the same with all offensive words. The person the word was designed to offend gets a pass because people don’t expect the person to mean to offend themselves.
Black people might get a pass for the N word but they would certainly be labeled racists if they used any racial slur designed to offend Asians, Hispanics or any other group of people.
Take for example “The B word” men are looked at funny when they say it. However, women can say it all day; even call each other the word as a term of endearment. In addition, if a man is close enough to a particular woman she may allow him to say it. However, that doesn’t give him a pass to use it with every women he meets.
Every culture, every class, every group has some word or slur that has been created to offend them. If you are not a member of that group then you should just stay away from using any words that would identify you as a bigot.
However, you probably already knew all of this. I just figured it would be a good reminder in case you forgot.